What do you think is the biggest cause of frustration when it comes to building self confidence? It is wishing you were already there – wishing that life was already better or different than what it is right now. When you do that you are focusing on the present.
The frustration of not being where you want to be is enough to ensure you give up completely if you are not happy with your progress because it seems as if nothing has changed.
This is one of the reasons I recommend everyone who is on the personal development path keeps a journal so they can look back and see just how far they have come.
What do you think is the best way to ensure frustration doesn’t happen when it comes to building self confidence?
The answer is to plan for the future by focusing exclusively on the present.
Being out of the present moment is what causes not just frustration but also fear and anxiety as well. Stop and think about something that is going to happen next week that might be making you feel nervous or that you are worried about.
As you think about it you bring about feelings of concern, worry or anxiety but when you stop thinking about it and bring yourself back to this moment right now the emotional reaction disappears. This is why it is important you are focusing on the present moment.
The best way to build your self-confidence is to imagine a great future, one that you want to work towards, then to focus on the steps that will get you there.
It is those steps that can only be taken in the present moment.
What is the first step you need to take? What is the first thing you need to do? There is no point in focusing on a future that might be 4 years away and wishing it was here now – it is a waste of energy.
Plan for your future. Plan for the future more confident you. Then focus exclusively on the present in an effort to help you get there.
A great example of this in my own life is my desire to travel the world and run my business online. I first set that as my goal back in 2006 and it doesn’t start until my youngest completes High School in 2015. That may seem like a long way away but I only have 4 years left and what have I been doing in that time?
I focused exclusively on
1. Deciding on the type of online business I want to run and starting it so I can build it up
2. Removing all debts and ties that may keep me here financially
3. Developing a map that outlines all the different countries I want to visit (although this doesn’t officially start for another year or two I have started mentally making a list)
4. Setting goals that ensure I stay focused on making this happen from the winter of 2015 (the idea is to spend my winters in hot countries for months at a time, returning to England each Spring)
Right now I am at the stage of removing more of my debts (I did most of this back in 2009) and beginning to think about building a reserve/saving – although work has been a little slow for the last 18 months so I am not as far as I want to be but still focused on making it happen.
I know how much I want to save each month and I have given myself 4 years to really build up a few blogs so they are generating a regular income.
Every now and again I think about 2015 and how wonderful it will be to live in the Caribbean, Mexico, Africa or Australia where summer starts in December, while continuing to write and blog and earn a living.
I use visualization to help me create excitement and I focus on using affirmations to ensure I keep working towards my goal.
That is really the only time I focus on the future. The rest of the time my energy is very much here in the present, focused on what I can do today to help me make this happen.
When it comes to building self confidence I recommend you do the same.
“Man should bless the past, and forget it, if it keeps him in bondage; and bless the future, knowing it has in store for him endless joys, but live fully in the now” Florence Scovel Shinn